THAT girl

we got that waiting in the clinic silence
that ssshh dont tell nobody what we did silence
& im so tierd of being your hamper, that im about to dump
out thoes weak old ketchup stain secrets & do laundry in
that silence, you like keeping it quiet
but my vagina is not your walk-in closet
you wanna stuff your unmentionables through me
want a place to hang up your insecurities, want me to
keep track of your hand me downs & prada
woman for every occasion & put me back behind close doors
in the darkness.. nobody knows you hold my hand
nobody knows i call you baby & nobody knows you write
anonymous poems about me, the kind that you cant post on facebook
because regardless of what you may think im worth or what you
may think i deserve i will NEVER be THAT girl
the girl whos only out to make you smile, when shes making you orgasm
THAT girl, whos day job is day dreaming of waiting for her night job
THAT girl, whos so in love she will turn her body over for your
superficial touch, you hide me behind lock doors & bed sheets
because if you dare reach out everybody will know that it was still about me
know that in your mind & in heart your still wrapped up in me
my tear drops you own them, my heart says you got them tied around
your pencils & fingers, ya you may say its over but you will never
admit that you still love me, but you dont have to cus the silence
makes volume you wanna hold me in your arms rock me to sleep
then act like you dont know me, as if the moments we spent together
are some kind of down payments. as if my bed room were lay away
& thats all you ever do is lay away curl up beside me but in the morning
pull up the hoodie & run the other way. im like that bastard child the reason
daddy never stuck around in the first place but for me rejection doesnt come
ever other weekend it comes when you lower your head & past by without
speaking & i remember there was a time when you could barley take your
eyes off me. i jus dont understand why its not ok for you to love me
i guess you jus want me to be THAT girl, the girl who everyone wants to
sleep with but no one wants to be with, THAT girl only good enough
to find a suitable replacement & i try to make up for my mistakes
but you convince yourself that she means everything & you want nothing to
do with me but common baby she looks jus like me, read the signs or
if not at least the facial features cus i was your first, your only
the prototype & shes jus the duplicate & you can never make copies
without first consulting the blue print you know that they say, the sequel
is never better than the original & she tries to write you stories but
you know there only half as good so half squinting you only hold her
half as tight as you should because the other half is tangled within my
bed sheets & your other half is complete within my mind soul & body & your other half is french tonging me monday through friday.. im not fighting for
joint custody im fighting for respect because ill never be content with
being your back door hoe your something on the side your something to do
during thoes lonely nights your closet freak... you will never produce me
to a skank & a whore rather than to let me love you, i rather
spend every night trying to learn my bedroom floor rather than to be
THAT girl

Sincerely, Pisces

Dear Cancer, This is coming from the depth of my heart. I'm glad your able to make up for the missed time with those who matter most, Although i wasnt one of them. I'm Glad you have found a place in someone else's heart to give your love. I pray that all your dreams come true & your future continues to shine bright. I pray that you never treat anyone the way you did me, cus i would never wanna see anyone suffer that way -- even an enemie. I hope, in your heart you are sorry, cus i am. And i hope when she fkcs you over, you don't remember me the same way you don't now cus Today, for me .. I let you go; for everything I knew has been in my face all along, I just was afraid to acknowledge it. I love you ... genuinely.

Sincerely, Pisces.

She ..

she said fkc everything, but she was high off dro
she got his name tatted, i think she fkn pro
she call her self mrs.thomas, that mean she give him blow
she always seems so humble, a bad bitch on the low
she only feels this nigga, he made her stomach bigger
she tryna show him her love, but he seems unfamiliar
she sees other niggas feel her, but she aint tryna feel ya
she staying stuck on dis dude, people say she so so stupid
she doesnt realize he moved on, she doesnt know what hes doin
she stays here so confused, she stays here so so hurt
she makes her emotions intentional, cus she stays here tryna lurk
she loved that she had his daughter, but his lifestyle is so dirt
she finds out his secrets he aint lonely
she finds out he fkn other girls from his homie
she says its all good, but it aint close to that
she keeps her jealousy built up, she needs to fall back
she said if she sees him with a girl, then its a fkn wrap
she dont care if they have nothing, he should have used a fkn wrap

Love Affair

this niggas so fly, first day we met we got high
so fkn sexy, looking in his eyes
it was a surprise ..when he pulled me close & kissed me
1 thing led to another so quickly
but i wasnt ready, tho he was i wasnt
i couldnt do it -- i liked him to much to let shit get ruined
he undid my pants i said baby please wait
in my mind, i could only debate
after this will he love me, or love it
will he love us , or jus say fkc it
that was it so i fibbed .. i didnt want to
but i did, he didnt believe at first but i convinced
convinced him i haven't done it before & that it would
have been my first time, he smiled & said "its ight"
we ended up walking around his block, around his spot
introduced me to his friends -chilled laughed
& that was the end, went home ..online
he was online, he messaged me
but something didnt seem right, something didnt feel right
he said to me, i know you lied but you didnt have to
i said i know but it was the only way to get through
get through to you, that i wasnt ready it was to quick
& that he was only thinkin with his dick, & i was afraid he would split
he admitted, that if i let my feelings get a best of me that day
we would have ended, & wouldnt have been what we are today
so my debation, my contemplation, my worries & fuss
all turned out to be true, glad my feelings didnt make me give it up

My Life

straight from the block i been hustlin my way to do
exactly what you see me doing
well let me tell you bout the life that i live
& how my struggles had me screwing up
i made mistakes in my past jus like others
i learned the real from the fake sisters to my brothers
you know we all fall down but ima bout getting up
& im gonna lay it down & tell you whats up
i never had a dad who fall for my love & passion
cus he never thought success could come from music lessons
so i step on that, words from my step dad
& now i found, my blood in him
its okay, its okay
got pregnant at 17, with no baby daddy to intervene
im all on my own, with no body at home
now im stuck between education that aint complete
how do i feed my baby & keep standing on my own 2 feet
i aint got no experience to raise a child
my mom specifically said to wait a while
felt i couldn't live life no more, but got hard & went out the door
& i jus wanna sing, forget the bling bling
cus it aint gon make me something
do you ever think about life or what chu gon do
this is the real shit, its up to know to
make sure you know what your doing in life
cus im tryna get where im tryna get
& im gonna be okay
Will You?

Best I Could Do

baby boy its way to late, nothing to negotiate
its over all my moves to make, cus this love is a state on me
when we were one we didn't value all the love we had
hurting each other its so obvious we wouldn't last
nothing to work out theres no passion anymore
i don't know what i was fighting for
i jus cant turn my back on you
cus my love for you is true
but there is nothing left to do
cus our time is up im through
i been wishing & wishing, i been patiently waiting
all my time i been wasting
but you may never know cus your eyes are closed
i realized im a woman who needs to be treated a different way
a different me would love you, but can you love me like i would
like i would love me, like i would love you?
im so emotional baby boy, i just want you

his presence embrace me
loving so greatly
i miss the way we
use to sit up all night
& talk about nothing
on the phone ..

how could you be so weak when you know
you deserve so much better
the best i could do
is warn & inform you

Just... That Special Person:


its the best feeling when at the end of the day you know you have that special someone to turn to. That special person you can tell anything -- &; they would never judge you; that special person who you know that no matter what they will be there, threw good & bad .. happy ; sad.Just ...That Special Person!every girl longs for him, but its like no matter how long you search or wish for "him" .. he never shows up, We tend to obsess over the wrong guys all the time, or stick with the one who consistently hurts you over & over & over .. then when that special one does come around, you dont even notice.you know that feeling -- when you can wake up smiling, with a joy feeling in your heart, that feeling where misery & distress never has to take play cus happiness has taken over your whole body, mind & soul.all cus of one guy,That Special Person.
you see it happen to everyone else, you always wonder "when will it happen to me" ..they say patience is the key, but waiting only leads to misery

Let Me Be Your Hip Hop

To have knowledge is to aquire
To aquire is because you listen
A beautiful mind expresses & shares his/her experiences
To help & evaluate
To proceed is to succeed
I understand you
because we aquire & share our knowledge
you listen & our minds express themselves
we evaluate, relate & contemplate. I understand
you because you give me a chance to, were friends
because god chooses us to be


you need me. not me, but someone to hold you down
comfort you & appreciate you. someone who doesn't make
you cheat but try harder.
A REAL WOMAN YOU CAN DEPEND ON
LET YOUR GUARD DOWN

Someone like Hip Hop who was there for you on the regular
physically, emotionally but more mentally
someone who listens ..
Hip Hop that gives & receives, let you speak & relate
cus' Hip Hop aquires & lets you share your knowledge cus'
your mind is beautiful
express yourself ..


LET ME BE YOUR HIP HOP

Rellz Verzola

to start off im going to welcome myself cus thats whats important .. SO WELCOME ME !! & welcome everyone else . I haven't decided whether I'll be blogging often or periodically but when i do i do if i don't i don't. Anyway, My name is Rellz blatantly not my government but it should be. I'm going to leave you with my name & intentions for now .. but my blogs may justify enough about what you want t0 know about me

soo, Peace!